friday humour

friday humour ist eine art spam, mit dem ich regelmäßig über bande belästigt werde. diesmal fand ich es aber wirklich lustig.
(sogar mit kl. übersetzungshilfe, anbei)

> I'm afraid that some of these won't travel very well as they are a bit UK
> specific, but:
>
> QUIZ ANSWERS WHICH WERE NOT QUITE RIGHT......
>
>
> UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
> Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and
> cheesemongers'?
> Contestant: Homosexuals.
> Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset
> with you.
>
>
> BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
> Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
> Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
> Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
> Contestant: Leicester?
>
>
> BBC NORFOLK
> Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
> Contestant: I don't know.
> White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your
> hand and your elbow?
> Contestant: Arm.
> White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
> Contestant: Strong.
> White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
> Contestant: Louis.
> White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song
> What A Wonderful World?
> Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
>
>
> LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
> Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
> Contestant: France.
> Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
> Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
> Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is
> the Parthenon?
> Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
> Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
> Contestant: Paris.
>
>
> THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
> Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
> written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or The
> Conservative Party?
> Contestant: The Conservative Party.
>
>
> BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
> DJ Mark: For ten Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
> Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
>
>
> RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
> Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about
> pensioners: Last Of The..?
> Caller: Mohicans.
>
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/lastofthesummerwine/)

> PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
> Phil: What's 11 squared?
> Contestant: I don't know.
> Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the Middle.
> Contestant: Is it five?
>
(11 zum Quadrat)


> RICHARD AND JUDY
> Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
> A: Forrest Gump.
>
>
> RICHARD AND JUDY
> Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
> Contestant: Er . .
> Leslie: He makes bread . . .
> Contestant: Er . . .
> Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
> Contestant: Kipling Street?
>
>
> LINCS FM PHONE-IN
> Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
> Contestant: Barcelona.
> Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
> Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
>
>
> NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
> Question: What is the world's largest continent?
> Contestant: The Pacific
>
>
> ROCK FM (PRESTON)
> Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name
> of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
> Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
>
>
> THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
> Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in1918?
> Contestant: Magna Carta
>
(Armisticide, Waffenstillstand)
>
> JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
> O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
> Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER ..ER...
> Three?
>
>
>
> CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
> Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
> Caller: Japan.
> Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that,
> I can let you try again.
> Caller: Er ... Mexico?
>
>(Ätna)

> PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
> Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
> Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
>
>
> DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham:
> In which country would you spend shekels?
> Contestant: Holland?
> Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
> Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
> Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
> Contestant: No.
>
>
> PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
> Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
> Contestant: Er . .
> Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .
> Contestant: Blimey?
> Wood: Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
> Contestant: (Silence)
> Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
> Contestant: Walked?
>
(Cor Blimey, ugs: Teufel noch mal!, Potz Blitz!)

> LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
> Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
> Contestant: Jewish.
> Presenter: That's close enough.
>
(http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes)
>
> STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
> Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging
> character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
> Contestant: Jesus