Damn... it's good to be a man

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because
this one's just
too icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character and gray hair is distinguished.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or
she can still be
your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn
a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color,all
seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on
December 24 in 45
minutes.

You can actually enjoy tv because you don´t fall asleep as soon as the box illuminates